I has a sad.

It's official.  I have a condition.  A heartbreaking, possibly progressive illness.


 I have (Acquired?) Lace Developmental Disordered Syndrome...uh....Condition. 

ALDDSC.  Totally.  I'm not sure if it's progressive or not.  But I am very bummed about the current prognosis. 



Yes, I am using kittens to talk about my feelings. 

 See, I figured that, if I caught my mess up (remember last week?) and took drastic steps to correct the problem, then that would be that.  Problem solved.

Au contraire, mon frère. 

I knit carefully.  I used lifelines.  I read the chart.  I even counted out loud to myself.  Yet somehow I contracted this condition (bacterially?) where I am unable to make lace.  Observe:

Here is last week's Vlad.  I had already had a terminal issue with the first attempt, had frogged, and started it over.  Here we have a correctly knitted set up chart and the first two body repeats done.  Correctly.  The first attempt had the correct number of pattern repeats on one half of the shawl, and was lousy with extra stitches on the other half. 



Now see the picture from this morning:

Houston, we have a problem.  The first symptom I can see is that I have three hands here.  GAH!  Oh, wait, hang on.  Forgot I enlisted my husband to help spread the lace out.  Whew....  Ok ok, I don't know why the picture flipped sideways on me, since I did not snap it sideways, nor upload it sideways,  but what we have here is a total mess.  I have not enough pattern repeats on one side, and way more than too many on the other side.  What the $&%@!!!  If I can read a knitting chart (I can), and if I was reading the pattern in the language I am most fluent in (I was) and if I used lifelines (I did) and if I was even counting out loud to myself while knitting the smarmy bugger (yup), then shouldn't I be granted immunity from this kind of crap????

Therefore, without a doubt, I am afflicted with the aforementioned Condition.

Is there a way to treat this condition?  Will I be Lace Intolerant all the rest of my knitting life?!? 

Mooooaaaaan.

                                             

Ok.  Deep breath.  I will summon the urge to rip back the offending muck up to the last "save point"/lifeline and try again.

Oh yes, I will survive.

When I got thoroughly annoyed  set down my lace (shut it) shawl, I picked back up another project and made real, appreciable progress with it.  When one project slaps me upside my head, I find it comforting that at least I can still master a simpler knit.  I have here both the front and back of the Krista Tee. 

All that I need to do with it is knit up the little sleeves, sew it up, and voila.  Of course, that is if the Knitting Goddess/Ruler of the Yarny Universe doesn't have other plans for me.

Excuse me while I go throw salt over my left shoulder, cross my fingers, toes, and eyes, and spin three times counterclockwise while a rooster crows.  Facing northeast.  Whilst holding a skein of worsted weight in a color pleasing to the Goddess.

I need to go lie down. 



Oh what a beautiful moooooorning....oh what a beautiful dayyyyyy!

Somewhere out there my friend DJ is cursing me for getting this song stuck in her head.  Hey DJ!

I've been on a knitting tear, people.  I have in my hot little hands a fantastic summer sweater, the Krista Tee by Joan McGowan-Michael (got the pattern at Yarns Etc).  Knit up in some delightful raspberry-colored Louisa Harding yarn, I cannot wait to wear it out and about.

I am so edgy, so hip and trendy, that I block my hand knits on concrete.  Instead of blocking pins, I use nails.  I'm tough like that.  Rowr. 

As you can see here, this little sweater is rather open.  I'm definitely planning on this being worn over a camisole or tank top, but you know...if you want to shake it up...uh, yeah.  But the pattern is well written and not a bad choice at all for a new knitter.  I have completed the back, am halfway up the front practically, and the two short sleeves and voila, I have a staple for my summer wardrobe.  I can't wait to finish it. 

Did anyone else just start singing "Raspberry Beret"?