I has a sad.

It's official.  I have a condition.  A heartbreaking, possibly progressive illness.


 I have (Acquired?) Lace Developmental Disordered Syndrome...uh....Condition. 

ALDDSC.  Totally.  I'm not sure if it's progressive or not.  But I am very bummed about the current prognosis. 



Yes, I am using kittens to talk about my feelings. 

 See, I figured that, if I caught my mess up (remember last week?) and took drastic steps to correct the problem, then that would be that.  Problem solved.

Au contraire, mon frère. 

I knit carefully.  I used lifelines.  I read the chart.  I even counted out loud to myself.  Yet somehow I contracted this condition (bacterially?) where I am unable to make lace.  Observe:

Here is last week's Vlad.  I had already had a terminal issue with the first attempt, had frogged, and started it over.  Here we have a correctly knitted set up chart and the first two body repeats done.  Correctly.  The first attempt had the correct number of pattern repeats on one half of the shawl, and was lousy with extra stitches on the other half. 



Now see the picture from this morning:

Houston, we have a problem.  The first symptom I can see is that I have three hands here.  GAH!  Oh, wait, hang on.  Forgot I enlisted my husband to help spread the lace out.  Whew....  Ok ok, I don't know why the picture flipped sideways on me, since I did not snap it sideways, nor upload it sideways,  but what we have here is a total mess.  I have not enough pattern repeats on one side, and way more than too many on the other side.  What the $&%@!!!  If I can read a knitting chart (I can), and if I was reading the pattern in the language I am most fluent in (I was) and if I used lifelines (I did) and if I was even counting out loud to myself while knitting the smarmy bugger (yup), then shouldn't I be granted immunity from this kind of crap????

Therefore, without a doubt, I am afflicted with the aforementioned Condition.

Is there a way to treat this condition?  Will I be Lace Intolerant all the rest of my knitting life?!? 

Mooooaaaaan.

                                             

Ok.  Deep breath.  I will summon the urge to rip back the offending muck up to the last "save point"/lifeline and try again.

Oh yes, I will survive.

When I got thoroughly annoyed  set down my lace (shut it) shawl, I picked back up another project and made real, appreciable progress with it.  When one project slaps me upside my head, I find it comforting that at least I can still master a simpler knit.  I have here both the front and back of the Krista Tee. 

All that I need to do with it is knit up the little sleeves, sew it up, and voila.  Of course, that is if the Knitting Goddess/Ruler of the Yarny Universe doesn't have other plans for me.

Excuse me while I go throw salt over my left shoulder, cross my fingers, toes, and eyes, and spin three times counterclockwise while a rooster crows.  Facing northeast.  Whilst holding a skein of worsted weight in a color pleasing to the Goddess.

I need to go lie down. 



Oh what a beautiful moooooorning....oh what a beautiful dayyyyyy!

Somewhere out there my friend DJ is cursing me for getting this song stuck in her head.  Hey DJ!

I've been on a knitting tear, people.  I have in my hot little hands a fantastic summer sweater, the Krista Tee by Joan McGowan-Michael (got the pattern at Yarns Etc).  Knit up in some delightful raspberry-colored Louisa Harding yarn, I cannot wait to wear it out and about.

I am so edgy, so hip and trendy, that I block my hand knits on concrete.  Instead of blocking pins, I use nails.  I'm tough like that.  Rowr. 

As you can see here, this little sweater is rather open.  I'm definitely planning on this being worn over a camisole or tank top, but you know...if you want to shake it up...uh, yeah.  But the pattern is well written and not a bad choice at all for a new knitter.  I have completed the back, am halfway up the front practically, and the two short sleeves and voila, I have a staple for my summer wardrobe.  I can't wait to finish it. 

Did anyone else just start singing "Raspberry Beret"? 

Live and Learn

I've been knitting on Polka Dottie (pattern available at your favorite LYS in Chapel Hill and Raleigh!), that adorable dress pattern for Knit One Crochet Too yarns, and I got stuck.  Twice.  With the directions.  Man, it's been a while since something in a pattern made me go, "uhhhhh, wha????"

Maybe it's prideful of me to think that I've seen almost everything in knitting, and that I know a thing or two about a thing or two in regards to knitting.  But getting stumped (twice) made for some pretty funny behavior on my part.  I read the directions...something about wrapping twice for each stitch, and proceeded to think, "Oh, you mean a double yarn over" and then shortly thereafter realizing that nooooooo, that's not  what I'm supposed to do at all.  In a funk, I set the whole thing down and put it in a time out. 

I've noticed that when I am stumped by knitting, two things need to happen for me to work it out (usually).  Thing 1: Realize that all knitting instructions are horribly literal.  One of the many times when I flunked the Swallowtail Shawl knit, I kept seeing the YO symbol.  So I'd YO (Yarn Over, in case you didn't know).  Or so I thought.  After several shredded attempts, yards of mangled alpaca lace weight and on the verge of chewing my wooden knitting needles into oblivion, I lurched my way into Yarns Etc to ask for help.  It was so simple to fix it was embarrassing.  I was doing a yarn over, all right, but then I was immediately launching into knitting the next stitch, as though that is the full extent of how to do a yarn over.  Oh no no no, muchacha.  As you all know, a yarn over is where you simply bring the yarn.forward.  Full stop.  Stop. 

This brings me to Thing 2: Stop.  Put it down, walk away.  Leave it to simmer in its own juices for a day or three.  Let the solution percolate through your brain.  That's what it took for me.  About three days of scratching my head about it from time to time, feeling irritated about getting held up on knitting it, and suddenly, EUREKA!!

I got it!!  But of course!  Insert the right needle as if to knit, then wrap the yarn two times (duh hur dur) around the right needle.  Welllll, all righty then!  Moving on.

I was cruising along until later on in the pattern where I was told to do something that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.  Not anything crazy.  It didn't tell me to take the hand knit to the scary part of town and dance with it in the moonlight.  But it did tell me to knit into the purl bumps of the row underneath!!!!  Say WHAHHAAAAAT?!?

Those patterns, that knitting stuff...remember, very literal.  So I did it, totally feeling my hair curl from anticipation and dread of ripping out whatever the heck I might be doing to my hand knit.  Lo and behold, it was totally fine, and my perspective on knitting got blown wide open.  It created an overlapping section of stitches so I could make a nice perky little button band.  Dudes....I had no idea y'all could do that with string!  For real? 

So here's what I've got so far, considering it's been fermenting in the "I don't understand" pile.  I will say that, if you are considering knitting this, it is totally sweet and fun, the yarn is great, but I would go the extra mile to make sure that you get two yarns that do NOT share colors in common.  It makes the color work rather pointless when you have a section where the lavender from one yarn matches the solid lavender from the other yarn.  Oh well, live and learn, right?

I'm planning another summer knit for myself, and I'm torn between breaking out my Breathless yarn ( in Loden) and knitting Multnomah with it, or using another pattern that I got from Yarns Etc, the Krista tee/summer sweater, and maybe doing both.  All I've been doing with my Breathless yarn is petting it and setting it back in its little home on the bookshelf...and that's fun, but maybe I might like knitting with it too, eh?  And the Krista tee shirt looks like it would be oh so lovely with a pair of dark blue jeans or a skirt...and it isn't gonna happen if I don't cast on for it already!  It may be spring, but there's plenty to knit, am I right?  What are you working on?  What have you learned lately?