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Tuesday, May 8, 2012

I has a sad.

It's official.  I have a condition.  A heartbreaking, possibly progressive illness.

 I have (Acquired?) Lace Developmental Disordered Syndrome...uh....Condition. 

ALDDSC.  Totally.  I'm not sure if it's progressive or not.  But I am very bummed about the current prognosis. 

Yes, I am using kittens to talk about my feelings. 
 See, I figured that, if I caught my mess up (remember last week?) and took drastic steps to correct the problem, then that would be that.  Problem solved.

Au contraire, mon frère. 

I knit carefully.  I used lifelines.  I read the chart.  I even counted out loud to myself.  Yet somehow I contracted this condition (bacterially?) where I am unable to make lace.  Observe:

Here is last week's Vlad.  I had already had a terminal issue with the first attempt, had frogged, and started it over.  Here we have a correctly knitted set up chart and the first two body repeats done.  Correctly.  The first attempt had the correct number of pattern repeats on one half of the shawl, and was lousy with extra stitches on the other half. 

Now see the picture from this morning:

Houston, we have a problem.  The first symptom I can see is that I have three hands here.  GAH!  Oh, wait, hang on.  Forgot I enlisted my husband to help spread the lace out.  Whew....  Ok ok, I don't know why the picture flipped sideways on me, since I did not snap it sideways, nor upload it sideways,  but what we have here is a total mess.  I have not enough pattern repeats on one side, and way more than too many on the other side.  What the $&%@!!!  If I can read a knitting chart (I can), and if I was reading the pattern in the language I am most fluent in (I was) and if I used lifelines (I did) and if I was even counting out loud to myself while knitting the smarmy bugger (yup), then shouldn't I be granted immunity from this kind of crap????

Therefore, without a doubt, I am afflicted with the aforementioned Condition.

Is there a way to treat this condition?  Will I be Lace Intolerant all the rest of my knitting life?!? 



Ok.  Deep breath.  I will summon the urge to rip back the offending muck up to the last "save point"/lifeline and try again.

Oh yes, I will survive.

When I got thoroughly annoyed  set down my lace (shut it) shawl, I picked back up another project and made real, appreciable progress with it.  When one project slaps me upside my head, I find it comforting that at least I can still master a simpler knit.  I have here both the front and back of the Krista Tee

All that I need to do with it is knit up the little sleeves, sew it up, and voila.  Of course, that is if the Knitting Goddess/Ruler of the Yarny Universe doesn't have other plans for me.

Excuse me while I go throw salt over my left shoulder, cross my fingers, toes, and eyes, and spin three times counterclockwise while a rooster crows.  Facing northeast.  Whilst holding a skein of worsted weight in a color pleasing to the Goddess.

I need to go lie down. 


Anonymous said...

Practice with solid light colored worsted weight yarn and big needles. It'll be a lot easier to see what's going wrong.

Erin Cathcart said...

Sacre bleu! That is a very VERY good idea. Plus, then you end up with a shawl the size of Texas! What better way to overcome my disorder!

Susan said...

You can do lace! You've proved it on the Krista Tee.

I would agree with the previous poster though that if you're having difficulty and can't figure out where you're going wrong, you should switch to a solid, lighter color yarn (not necessarily different needles though) where you can see your stitches better and how they are lining up with the row below.

bonitinha said...

Also have you tried stitch markers between pattern repeats? I can't say it solves all lace problems, of which I have many, but it can be a big help. And at least you can (sometimes) figure out where the problem lies and resolve it locally without sending everything into complete disarray. Good luck!

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